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Bald Eagle Gets Hair Weave

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Once on the endangered species list, the Bald Eagle has made a complete resurgence. Not only have its numbers increased, so too has the bird’s feather count on its forehead. Using a hair weave combo with implants, the Bald Eagle may soon come to be known as “The Hairy Eagle.”

ACROSS THE U.S. OF A. - For years the Bald Eagle seemed like it was destined for extinction, now it seems it is once again on the path to prosperity.

However, not only is the resurgent bird growing in numbers but is also dropping its image as the most recognizable creature due to its baldness (which it is now doing something about).

We caught up with George, a Bald Eagle that has a newfound confidence in his flight and the fact he's no longer recognized for being bald:

“I never really felt that being bald was such a big deal,” he told us, “But, that was until I got fitted for a rug…. Man, now even all the ravens are checking me out.

It is hard to believe I tolerated being bald for so long, George said. I think this is why we were in decline as a species, he said. We didn’t have the confidence a lot of hairier creatures had, he added.

Still, George the Bald Eagle said he is not quite used to having hair.

“It does take an adjustment… I flew so many years that way and I guess being bald helped me aerodynamically. Now, I have a little more resistance… But, I wouldn’t trade this weave for what I had before.”

George recommends weaves and hair plugs for other naturally bald animals such as Seals.

“I know getting a tummy tuck would be great for a Seal - that should be first on their list,” George said. “But I have this friend, Bob the Seal, who would sure get a boost in confidence with some more hair.”

George isn't alone in his assumption that many animals love a furry creature and the more hair the better.

Todd, a beaver, said that most of the animals love a bear or lion because of their fur and/or mane (respectively). Todd says women particularly like his slicked back look. George agrees.

“There was a time where if you had a lot of fur or feathers you increased your chances of being displayed on somebody’s wall, but those days are long gone. Now, if you want to be attractive you have to have a little hair.”

Bob the Seal agreed. “I guess maybe if I had fur or hair or whatever, I would not only be more attractive but perhaps less likely to get clubbed.”

George could only squawk in amusement.

“The only clubbing he'll be doing is with me – out in New York that is!”

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