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Birthday Party Regulations
Stir Controversy in Indian
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 little girl with presents

Little Gracie Smith may soon find her birthday party regulated, and her guest list shrunk to only 4 friends.

Don't tell her now though.  We don't want to make her cry.

INDIANAPOLIS, IN - One of America's most treasured activities has been tarnished. Birthday parties are thought to be fun gatherings across the country, that are celebrated with cake, ice cream, and presents. Children's being the most festive, with pinata's, favors, goodie bags, maybe even a clown or two. But in Indianapolis, IN, last year things made a dour turn. Due to the rising cases, of not only injuries but emotional damage as well, there is talk of a state-wide ban of birthday parties with a crowd over five people.

There has been a sharp increase in people being either hospitalized or diagnosed with various disorders and other problems. Some blame the stress of making everything perfect at these parties, keeping an eye on everyone, etc. Some birthday parties have even led to deaths, due to drowning in swimming pools, along with other freak accidents.

bandaids

Bandaids are exempt from the new birthday party regulations in Indiana, shocked scientists say.

"It's just absurd. I'd expect this sort of thing from California, but not the mid-west. These recent accidents are not a plague, they just happened to be concentrated in a certain area and a certain time," said Indianapolis resident, Jacob Peplinski.

Some other moms in the area have a different opinion. Suezette Ballenger, of Party Planning Moms, INC., told a local paper, "We believe that the upcoming legislation is long overdue. Party-planning of any type, especially birthday parties have been going down this slippery slope and the madness has to stop. Incompetent parents everywhere need to be shut down from organizing such important events. The task of throwing a successful, safe, Birthday party cannot be done be just anyone, and the recent trend shows this. We MUST protect our children!"

Indiana state bureacrats are ready to put their party hats on once the new regs go in effect.

Will the mid-west be the hearth of clownless, moon-bounce-less backyard parties for Joe Flyover? Is your right to let the neighborhood kids whack a pinata threated? Write your local congressman, if you care.

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