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Woman Picks Up Alien Frequencies
With Aluminum Foil On Her Head

Sally Reynolds of Philadelphia dons a thought screen helmet. She claims that as a child she was abducted by aliens and now needs to wear such a device to ward off alien microwaves attempting to scan her mind.

So far, she's not sure about the hat's effectiveness, but she does get better AM reception.

aluminum foil gal

In a bizarre twist, her mind was inadvertently used as a server on Frostwire.com and several teenagers were able to connect to her brain and downloaded unlicensed music to their MP3 players. It was music she heard on the elevator going to her job in the tax department. She could not get out of her head, but, apparently the aliens could.

PHILADELPHIA, PA – It turns out aliens may have discovered a way around the “tin-foil hat,” and have discovered a new use for “thought screen hats,” which were designed to prevent aliens from reading the thoughts of humans. Crafty aliens are also using such devices to download music illegally.

CoverUps.com has met one such person that claims her thought-screen helmet picks up good AM stations and was surprised to learn that her head was used as a server for illegal music downloads on the peer-to-peer network Frostwire.com and other P2Ps on Gnutella-based networks.

“It was like any other normal day on my commute to Comcast, where I work as a customer service manager in the tax department,” she told CoverUps.com. “I was listening to greatest hits of the 90's on a variety music station. Later that day, as I wore my helmet, I had the sensation that my brain was being ‘pinged.’ Then, I could feel songs being sucked out of my head. It was weird. But, after a while I could no longer remember the songs at all.”

Later it was confirmed, that the peer-to-peer file sharing network actually connected to her brain and downloaded music to several members that were searching for songs that happened to be in her head. These particular members are believed to have been aliens.

“It never really bothered me that much before,” said Sally. “I mean, my thought-screen helmet was enabling me to get better AM stations and I am big fan of the Mike and Mike (ESPN sports radio show). It never came in quite right on the tuner in my Chevrolet Cobalt, but, when I put on my thought screen helmet, the reception was much better. Plus, aliens could not read my thoughts anymore.”

However, Sally still feels music downloads from her brain interfered with her ability to concentrate, she told CoverUps.com. The problem has magnified over the past few weeks.

“I guess it was beginning to use up to much bandwidth on my cerebral cortex or something. But, I knew something bizarre was happening.”

We asked several of our alien insiders about the thought-screen helmet. It turns out she was right. An alien (whom wishes to remain anonymous) told us those tin-foil hats actually do prevent mind reading from taking place. However, they can amplify most radio-based signals that we Earthlings use for wireless communications. Once aliens realized this effect, they began using people’s brains as peer-to-peer servers for music downloads. And, it is all because of this hat.

What the alien told us next was even more disturbing. “People that are having their mind’s read should not rest easy,” he said. “Once we upgrade to DSL, we’ll get more out of your melon than you ever thought possible.”

“Hey, the more I think about it," said Sally. "as long as they pay for the songs, I really don’t have a problem with it. Plus, how much Ethel Merman can they take? Because that's what they are getting from now on.”

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