jokes jokes

coverup-humor

silly-joke

jokes

coverup-humor-jokes

jokes

humor-silly-jokes

coverup-humor-jokes

jokes

jokes

humor-satire-jokes

comedy

joke

comedy-jokes

silly-joke

comedy-jokes

silly

Man's Prayers Outsourced to Zeus

comedy

The ancient temple of Zeus, with the Acropolis in the background. Many biblical scholars are raising an eyebrow at the thought of "outsourcing" afterlife services to cheaper labor, namely old Gods that were foresworn for Centuries and long since disposed as myths. Zeus, however, some argue was really a name for our one God, before we knew him as such.

CLOUD NINE AND THE PEARLY GATES - To an overload of its afterlife processing system, a mind-boggling network of computer platforms made worse by God's non-desire to actually learn the new software, Heaven has resorted to "off-sourcing" after life services back to the old mythological Gods of Athens, such as Zeus, CoverUps.com has learned.

"It really is not that big of deal," said Fr. Lou McKenna of The Fox Mulder Church of Boston," Nothing will really change... you see, Zeus, one might argue, was simply another name for God before we knew what to call him."

Fr. Lou McKenna, CoverUps.com's pipeline to the afterworld, is often privy to the underpinnings of Cloud Nine. He oftentimes reports exclusively to CoverUps.com on his divinations, though sometimes, as he says, it is best to contact him before 4 o'clock (Not because of Mass, but rather the mass quantities of alcohol he is apt to consume during happy hour at a local Don Pablo Restaurant near his Church).

laying flowers

Lilly Durance lays flowers at the grave of her dearly departed Jerry, who is off to drink nectar with Zeus, unbeknownst to her.

He says that Jerry Durance of Greater Boston felt shortchanged when he got to Heaven, only to find a God who was rusty at heaving thunderbolts and having a wavy beard.

"I thought for a second that all the biblical scholars got it wrong," Durance communicated to McKenna recently. "I mean here I am seeing in front of me The Man, The Big Cheese, The Big Enchilada and I am like wow, this is just how I imagined him in the fourth grade. It turns out it's Zeus and he doesn't know the first thing about salvation or spending good R&R on Cloud Nine..."

McKenna said that Durance put up some a argument of having been assigned to Zeus, even though he was a good God fearing Christian the majority of his whole life (except for that bachelor party that got out of hand in Vegas) the he demanded an explanation and being put back on God's work order list..."

God was incensed, McKenna said. He told him, "I am the Lord Thou God and you shall shut your complaining mortal mouth!"

McKenna said God finally got Durance to accept Zeus when he pointed out to him that as a Boston Red Sox fan he might be skating in Hell before the Red Sox ever chalk up another World Series.

This, it appears, was enough to make any Bostonian fall in line. Amen.

comedy

humor    TheWebNetwork.com