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Parrot Running for Governor of Florida

Mr. Feathers, a real parrot in Key West, Florida, has tossed his hat in the ring for governorship of Florida. His campaign is beginning to falter and most don't give the bird a real chance.  Especially, after his opponent, Charlie Crist accused him of spreading the avian bird flu last year at a fund raiser. 

MIAMI - Things are really beginning to heat up for this year's hotly contested gubernatorial race in Florida.

Mr. Feathers, a populist parrot from Key West, Fl., is running short on both time and money in his race against Charlie Crist for Governor of Florida.  However, starting today, Mr. Feathers hopes his campaign will finally get some wind under its wings with the introduction of a new round of political ads on television.

Crist and his people don't appear to be overly concerned about running against the parrot. 

"Like most Democrats, Mr. Feathers just repeats what he is told," said a Crist campaign staffer. "You say something to him and he says it right back....  There really is no substance to what he is saying.  He is simply a dumb bird with a brain the size of a pea. Admittedly, that gives him a brain-size advantage over most politicians, but we are not worried."

Despite a burst of passion on the night of the bird's nomination victory and another surge of excitement when he chose an African-American as his running mate, Mr. Feathers has struggled to define his platform while falling behind in fundraising, support among fellow Democrats. Polls now show him down 15 points.

CoverUps asked Mr. Feathers is his election for governor is hopeless. 

"brwaarrk...Johnny want a cracker... brwarrk," Mr. Feathers said. 

It may be a case of too little, too late for the bird, but the new ads are packing a punch.

One TV spots shows the bird surrounded by school children as he makes a point about improving testing and working a boardroom in discussing property tax relief. The screen fades to Crist as a male voice paints him as a status quo candidate who is not as colorful as the Mr. Byrd and can't even fly.

Yet no matter how effective the 15-second ads may be in selling Mr. Feather's candidacy, Crist and the Republican Party have saturated the airwaves for weeks with ads that seek to define the Mr. Feathers as a "liberal Washington politician" who opposes lower taxes. 

They also attack the parakeet's free bird feeder program as flat out socialism. They also contend that Mr. Feathers offers photo-ops to donors in return for $50,000 party contributions.  Such donations are against the spirit of campaign laws, but since there is nothing about a bird running for office, it is not clear if such donation limitations apply to Mr. Feathers.  Still, Crist calls it "cheap politics."

"The bird simply repeats stuff he heard Al Gore say," said Crist.  "What does that tell you?  It tells you he knows Al Gore and there is more room than we thought in the cuckoo's nest."