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10 Beers a Day Good For Stress

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Rick Blobner of Orange, NJ, sits back with his first of 10 daily beers. Usually his wife smacks him over the head with a frying pan because of his slovenly disregard for both his body and their house. He finds that drinking heavily reduces stress (he even claims it has aesthetic benefits towards his perception of his wife).

SCRANTON, PA – Doctors and health professionals are now discovering the virtue of pounding a lot of beer as a way to reduce stress levels, a new study reports.

The report, slated to appear in both The New England Journal of Quack Medicine and Modern Drunkard Magazine, is causing many beer drinking slobs to jump for joy while their wives are left doing everything else. Some distraught wives feel the ramifications of the study just may cement their lazy husband’s fat butt into the sofa forever!

“The last thing I need is for my no good bum of a husband to drink even more beer,” said Carol Blobner, a bit on the heavy side herself. Her husband claims she suffers from a condition called “muffin top,” whereby a little blob of belly “muffins over the lip of her jeans” claims her husband of 22 years

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Gary Sudsy, of Scranton, PA, hunches back over his chair after downing 4 enormous pitchers of beer. Heavy drinking, claims Sudsy, has since eliminated his worries about chronic unemployment and financial ruin.

Dr. Richard Butt of The Mayo Clinic said his impact study "Drinking Away Stress" was rigorously tested by himself, among others, including a couple of his golfing buddies. He usually gets ripped with these golfing buddies on the weekend, despite the fact he may be on-call. Dr. Butt is a defender of the controversial study.

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Dutch Wilkerson, of Detroit, MI, is shown here with his tool shed spilling over his belt buckle. He claims he needs the shed because he has quite an impressive tool – but we've heard that bull before with the Tennis Ball Diet – another controversial crutch for fat slobs everywhere.

Wilkerson is a proponent of heaving beer drinking to help reduce stress.

“If a man can’t enjoy 10 beers,” Dr. Butt said, “then what the hell else can he do to enjoy himself?”

CoverUps.com spent a lot of time trying to figure out an answer to this seemingly simple question, but alas we had to agree with Dr. Butt: "Without 10 beers, life seems far more complicated than it ought to be and a little shy of two six packs seems to just be enough to cope.

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